Whoever Invented Roommates Can Suck It

I’ve got a serious issue. I have this constant struggle with a certain inconsiderate roommate. Let’s call her Chloe. I like that name and that’s pretty much all I could possibly like about this girl. Her fake name. Let’s start with the basics. She has no manners. If you know me, you know I can’t stress anything more than manners. She has earlier classes than me so obviously she gets up at a ridiculous time in the morning. Is she quiet? You ask. Hell to the no. She bangs around like it’s her million-dollar salary job. You know how people turn the door knob to shut it quietly and gently? I swear she has never heard of this tactic before in her life. Chloe bangs around so much I’ve got her morning routine down pat. I know exactly what she is doing and when she is doing it. Simply by laying in bed wishing I wasn’t a light sleeper. The best part is when she leaves for class. The door shuts so loudly I just feel like screaming, “Have a fuckin nice day, bitch!” She slams that shit like she wants me to have a horrible day.

So I eventually get up after not being able to fall back asleep. I get ready for classes and attend them. I absolutely hate coming home if she’s already here. First thing I notice once through the door, the light isn’t on. She’s just sitting there in the dark. I’m sorry, but I am completely opposed to living in a dungeon. Please excuse me if you strongly disagree. She reads in the darkness like the light bulb has yet to be invented. What the hell? So I of course flip on the damn light. I go about my business checking Facebook and my email. I put headphones in my ears and listen to my iTunes to drown out the stupid show she has chosen to watch on television. Ten minutes passs and Chloe decides to head up to the computer lab and finish some homework. Fine with me, I love the time alone. I pause my music to go piss and what do I notice? The tv was left on. Where in the hell did she get the notion that I would be watching that? I mean, seriously? I could not even see nor hear the television. And that fact was completely obvious. So I’ve chalked it up to no manners. She is simply inconsiderate to the people around her.

Here’s another example, her nasty flip-flops are in my area. Right by my fuckin bed. Where I would love to walk but ever so inconveniently must walk around and avoid like the damn plague because they look nasty. I don’t care if your area looks messy and gross, well I take that back, I do care a little. But I’m also well aware that I’m no neat freak so I’m dealing. But if your shit is up in my space, I will lose it. I try to keep my stuff out of your region, that’s called common courtesy, so I expect you to do the same.

Let’s consider a few theories as to why she feels this behavior is acceptable. Well, it’s really only one theory and it belongs to yours truly. She comes from this wonderful white trash area and white trash family. In her home, this crap is okay, if not applauded. Granted her upbringing ain’t her fault, but let’s be serious. Anyone with half a brain knows how to turn off a tv. I come from a middle-class family. My mother is a teacher for Christ’s sake. And my dad is just straight scary. If I didn’t have manners my life would be fucked sideways. I wouldn’t be able to walk normally my mother would have beat me so damn much. Back talk, that’s not acceptable. Not cleaning up your shit around the house, no go. Leave the television on and you’re bound to get a beating. Oh no, my parents are not abusive. They never were, let’s get that straight. But if you ask my mom if she believes in spanking children her answer is a “Hell yea!” That is how you teach kids to behave, and I’m a strong, well-mannered person because of it. It sounds on here like I don’t have a single mannered gene in my DNA, but I promise all that is said on here is not acted out whatsoever. My thoughts are here or in my head. I suck at voicing my opinion in this situation. I have to live with this girl so a degree of compliance needs to be in order. If I complain or say anything rude to her, I’m terrified she will turn into some crazy psycho bitch and the rest of my year living with her will be a nightmare. So for now, you people get to read all my uncensored thoughts about my life and the shit going on in it. Thanks.