@#*!

I think we all can say that I curse a lot. Explicit language is just a part of my life. I know, a lot of people are offended by it. Yea, I get it. I know, God doesn't approve. But we're on odd terms right now. Sometimes I feel like curse words just help a sista out when something crazy happens. And I'm totally putting the blame on my mother. She taught me everything I know so give her the stank eye. If you think I curse like a damn sailor, you should hear her when she's pissed off. It's hilarious to me, but I'm sure there are lots of prissy mommys out there who would disapprove. And it's not like she purposefully cursed around me and my sister when we were kids. She kept it classy for the first few years of our life. We learned right from wrong, and then one day she cut her finger chopping up some onions. My mother is horrible with knives.... seriously. So she's choppin onions for dinner and gets her finger real good. "SHIT!" Best. Moment. Ever. That was the day I knew cursing was okay in my house. She looked at me and said "Don't repeat that word." I just shook my head at her. She said, "Ok, just don't say it around your father." My mother just didn't want to be blamed for teaching her own child the word shit. She wanted my dad to slip up. We all know he aint perfect. I don't really remember how much time passed but eventually my dad did the same thing. He hurt himself and yelled out shit. He pretty much said the same thing my mom did when he saw me standing behind him. The first time I ever said shit around my parents was hilarious. I will never forget this as long as I live. And I'm going to have the same reaction with my kids as my dad did with me. I think I dropped something on my foot. Or maybe I burned my hand. I can't really remember. But somehow I hurt myself and yelled out "SHIT!". My mother kinda gasped and looked at me with a shocked look on her face. What the hell did she expect me to say? "Oh fiddle sticks!" Umm, hell no. That's not how I was raised damnit. My dad looked at my mom for a second then goes, "Well, at least she used it in the right context!" I started laughing so hard. My mom looked a little horrified. She was still trying to keep her composure I guess. Bitch didn't have me fooled. I knew she was proud as hell. And from then on cursing just wasn't as huge of a deal anymore. I mean, I had to keep it to a minimum. Claire was still pretty young. Keepin it classy in the Gemmer household!

Note: Calling my mother a bitch better not offend you people. I swear I was just on the phone with her the other day and she totally called me a bitch. It's justified.