My Mini Vacation

I had such a great time in Naples, Florida! Like, whoa, did I need that little vacation or what! First of all, I think I conquered my fear of flying. No joke. Remember a few posts ago how much I bitched about flying? And a week leading up to my trip I worried so much about being on a plane. My friends all laughed and thought it was funny how neurotically ridiculous I can be, but I was seriously a hot mess about it. All that is behind me and in the past. Yep, I'm a world-traveling, fear-conquering biotch now. I got on a plane and flew to Florida and back like a champ. I'll admit, my stomach fluttered a few times when turbulence was bad, but I wasn't hyperventilating like I have in the past. I also didn't get stuck in the bathroom! I pretty much avoided just using the plane restroom actually. For my one flight I decided to hold it, to be honest. I didn't feel like climbing over the dude next to me, and I didn't feel like using that claustrophobic closet of a bathroom just to pee. I like open spaces when I'm doin my business. And I don't feel like getting stuck. Again. Because we all know that would only happen to me. But I will admit, my two flights coming home I used the restroom! And I actually didn't get stuck. I'm so proud of myself. In fact, I enjoyed flying. It was nice to just listen to music and do my word searches on the plane. Yes, I said about a million prayers during take-off and landing, but it calmed me down. I think the one thing that got me through flying was thinking about Tony. I don't even know the half of it because I didn't know him well at all, but he loved flying planes. And he had zero fears or reservations in life. So I'm sitting on the plane worrying about dying when I just decided not to think like that. I didn't want to be afraid of flying anymore. It seemed so silly in the scheme of things, and life is so much easier if you try to find the enjoyment in the stuff that you fear. The least I could do is to stop worrying about dying and maybe try to start living, because I'm the one who is still alive and can actually do that. I mean I'm honestly mad at myself for even having fears in the first place when here was a guy who had no fears at all. He took advantage of life more than I ever have, and that is just unacceptable. So I'm choosing to not be afraid and to even try new things. For instance, I tried crab and mussels while I was on vacation. I ate seafood that wasn't shrimp or salmon!! And that may sound silly because it's only trying new foods, but that's a huge step for me. I know what I like so I don't really branch out, and yet I tried a few different foods that I had been afraid to try before. I want to go on adventures this summer too. I'm just all about trying new things. I go to restaurants and I order something different. I went to a pottery place with my cousin and painted a vase despite the fact that I am a terrible artist. At first I was hesitant because I really can't paint, draw, mold, etc, but my little cousin was so excited about it. How could I say no? It's like I'm the YES woman. I want to take everything one day at a time and really focus on this new outlook I have on my life. Yay!