Grandparents

This is so difficult. Today I went and visited my grandparents graves with my mother. And it hurt so much. Sooo much. My grandfather died of a heart attack when I was in fourth grade. One of the hardest things I had to get through at such a young age. I remember there were a lot of tears. And my uncle spoke and it was beautiful. And the little cousins thought it was funny to dare each other to poke my grandpa at the viewing. Which is kind of hilarious because I just know that he was laughing in Heaven. But I'm pretty sure my grandma wanted to smack them all. I remember how sudden everything was and how empty everything felt. But I know you can't look at it negatively. I have to remember all the great and awesome times we had. Like how my grandpa ALWAYS had candy in the house and I ALWAYS stole some for myself. I thought I was such a sneaky kid, but according to my mom they all knew. Right. My grandparents had a time share in Past Christian, MS. That's where my childhood memories lie. Both of them would take me out to feed old bread to the seagulls. I have a picture of my grandma walking with me along the shore and it looks like she's explaining something to me, and I'm just eating it up because she was my grandma and she knew it all. We lost her almost two years ago during my senior year. She had been sick for a long time and I remember feeling completely different about her death compared to my grandpa's death. With my grandpa it was just sudden and I felt like he was ripped away too quickly. It was too soon. But my grandma, it was her time. It was peaceful and not at all too sudden. She was so sick for so long it seemed, and it was almost a relief that she wasn't being dragged along anymore. I saw her two days before she passed and I can't even begin to describe how hard that was. But I can't dwell on that, because I know they are finally together again. And I know how happy they are even if I'm not with them. They were married for 50 years and my whole family got the opportunity to celebrate that with them. We all went on this amazing vacation together, and my aunt came up with this time capsule activity for the cousins to do. We all had to describe what our future wife/husband would be like on a piece of paper and put it in the capsule. Then my grandparents wrote a letter to each of us and put it in there too. I cannot wait to open my time capsule on my wedding day and see what they said to me. I think it will make my wedding day even more special knowing they will be there. That letter is going to mean the world to me. Just like they mean the world to me.